The Six Steps to Effective Change

I serve in a leadership position in my church. Because of this, I get to visit local churches and listen to the stake presidency give a different talk on the same scripture each week. Last week I wasn’t feeling very good about myself. I couldn’t find the notebook I usually bring to church to take notes so I grabbed an old one off my shelf. When I settled on the pew and opened the notebook, I saw that it was from five years ago and the struggles that I had five years ago I still struggle with! In fact, if anything things are now much worse. About the time that depressing realization hit, President Brennan held up a little card that has our stake goals written on it and said, “You may wonder why our goals are the same this year as last, but until we have seen real, measurable improvement we need to continue working on our goals.” And it hit me, I don’t need to be sad or discouraged, I just need to have measurable improvement.

I need to change and fortunately, years ago I took a workshop on how to create effective change and according to the class, you need six things:

1.       The belief that it’s worth the cost.

2.       Knowledge—you need the knowhow.

3.       Friends who love you and support you.

4.       A changed environment (because right now, your environment is perfectly suited for your current lifestyle.)

5.       A reward system.

6.       An action plan.

I’ll admit I struggle number one the most. Ten years ago I successfully lost the 15 pounds I had gained with my twins and I kept it off for many years. But after the weight loss, other than dropping two dress sizes, my life wasn’t really any different. The people who love me love me whether I’m big or small. I still have the same chores to do when I feel ambitious and the same books to read when I feel like lounging. And so when life got busy, crazy and stressful with a houseful of teenagers combined with a four year long stint as a relief society president I regained the fifteen pounds plus nine more.

But now the last of the teenagers are walking out the door. My life isn’t busy, crazy or stressful—in fact, at times it’s boring and empty. Instead of a noisy tribe sitting down at the dinner table, it’s usually just me and my husband. I need to decide what I want this next chapter of my life to look like…how I want to look and feel and I decided that I need to leave this depressing middle-aged slump and abandon the lumps that have grown around my middle. Is the size 6 important? Not really. I could set down my battle with lumps, turn my generous backside on it, walk away and say I don’t care. But somehow the depressing slump and lumps are connected—I need to abandon the slump and get excited about my new (somewhat empty) life and fill it full to the brink. By pulling myself out of the depressing slump—I will also get rid of the twenty pound lumps.

So—recommitting to my six challenges necessary for effective change, here is what I did and what I’m doing.

1.       A belief that your goal is important. See above.

2.       Knowledge—you need the knowhow. Although I feel like I’ve been a student of weight loss for many years, I recently committed to a daily reading of health books and articles. Even if it’s only one page a day and even if I don’t totally agree with the diet, just getting into that “my body is a temple and needs proper love and nourishment” mind frame is important for motivation. I also made a doctor’s appointment—just to keep it real.

3.       Friends who love you and support you. I have this in abundance, but I need help so I recently found an online challenge group of dieters that communicates daily and signed up for the next session that begins on March 18^th. So excited.

4.       A changed environment (because right now, your environment is perfectly suited for your current lifestyle.) We have a cupboard full of granola bars, nut bars and fruit snacks. Since these snacks are for my teenage daughters to take to school and since once I eat one granola bar I want to eat three, I moved the entire contents of that cupboard to the trunk of my daughter’s car. One granola bar isn’t a problem. Three granola bars tell a different story. I bought protein bars for when I need something sweet. Unlike the granola bars, I can’t eat more than one protein bar without feeling ill.

5.       A reward system. This is another struggle. I have a hard time rewarding myself without guilt, maybe because I already think my life resembles a pleasure cruise. So I borrowed something I saw on Pinterest. I took two pretty glass cylinders and put twenty pennies in one. With each pound lost I move a penny into the other cylinder. Not a penny is lost or spent—only pounds.

6.       An action plan. My plan is simple. 1200 calories a day. Actually eat sixteen to seventeen hundred calories a day and burn 400-500 calories a day. I’ve been a runner most of my life and my four mile run is a little more than 400 hundred calories, a five mile run is 500 calories. You get the picture.

Did you notice how the action plan is the last—and actually the least important? Life and weight loss are really just head games. 

20 Tools for Change

I’m talking about changing your diet, but also, a little, about changing your life. For both, you need to change your habits. First, let’s look at the tools you can buy.

 
1.  Good exercise clothes and shoes. What this means: shoes that fit well. Socks that last. Bras that do their job and do it well. Shorts/pants that stay where they should and don’t creep into forbidden territory. Clothes that wick sweat. Hair ties.

2.   Sunscreen

3.  Portable motivating music

4.   A tape measure

5.  A journal to record your success

6.  A calorie counter

7.  A food scale

8. Measuring cups

9.  Lots of vegetables

10.  An insulated water bottle

 

Now here are the things that money can’t buy.

1. Support from people who love you

2. A healthy kitchen free of temptations. (If you happen to be in close quarters with someone who insists on stashing trash, give them their own cupboard or drawer in the fridge. Always use a cuss word when referring to this cupboard or refrigerator drawer. I generally don’t advocate cussing, but in this instance it’s highly recommended. If swearing isn’t your style, you might consider the terms poopy pantry or kakka cupboard.)

3. An exercise buddy (or two)

4. A good night’s sleep and naps when needed

5. A plan for resisting temptation (more on this later)

      6. An action plan (also discussed later)

7. Kind comebacks and retorts for those who try to tempt you or belittle your attempts (Do not be surprised when this happens, because it will. You might be tempted to refer to these people by the same slur you assign to the pantry or cupboard. Don’t do that. Be nice, even when others aren’t as kind.)

8. Dietary know how

9. Recognition of your triggers (more on this)

10. Meal plans

 

Starting Again

Here's the thing. I started my novel Losing Penny several months ago, but once it was finished and I was thick in the rewrites I realized that there's a tonal shift at about page 200. I dislike tonal shifts. So I got the brilliant idea to rewrite my old novel The Rhyme's Library, which I did. Originally, I spent three years writing The Rhyme's Library, but since it spent many years sitting in a drawer, it needed some dusting off, which I did. The Rhyme's Library once sat on a Penguin's (the publishing house, not the bird) editor's desk for ten whole agonizing months, before it returned to me with a no thank you. It's now available for most electronic readers (a big thank you to all my readers who have enjoyed it.)

The Rhyme's Library diversion worked so well that I decided to resurrect my novel Hailey's Comments, which was a quarter finalist in the Amazon Breakout Novel contest. And guess what? I finished editing Hailey's Comments. I'm going to let it sit while I return to the tonal shift in Losing Penny.

And this coincides with the reality that my son returns home from his two service as a missionary in about three months and wouldn't it be wonderful if I lost the ten pounds I've gained since he left? And since the whole family will be together and I want to have pictures taken wouldn't it be nice if I lost five more, just for the glory? And maybe, if I'm lucky, I could lose five more after that before my birthday in January? Wouldn't losing 20 pounds be an amazing birthday present?

Which brings me back to Losing Penny. When I started the novel, I thought the blog would be a good marketing companion and since I still think that here's what I'm going to do: Every week I'll post recipes and shopping lists. All of the recipes will be less than 400 calories. I'll be using a few of the same recipes Penny uses in the novel. Yes, it's a novel about love and food. Love food and love of food. And learning to love in a healthy way and learning to love healthy food.

Please join me on my weight loss journey and Penny's journey to publication.

I'm so close I can taste it.

(If anyone would like to be a beta reader for Losing Penny and tell me if they notice the tonal shift, or if they find it as annoying as I do, please e-mail me at kristyswords@yahoo.com. Here's Penny's blurb, just in case you're interested.)

Penny Lee, a cooking show diva, is delighted when she loses fifty pounds, and horrified when she gains a stalker. To avoid the attention of her most devoted follower, Penny travels to a remote beach house in Rose Arbor, Washington, where she intends to spend the summer compiling her cookbook.

Drake Islington, an English Literature professor with a secret too awful to share, jumps at the chance to spend the summer at a remote beach house where he can write in peace.

When Penny and Drake collide it’s a perfect recipe for a delicious summer until the arrival of Drake’s mom, Penny’s teenage crush, Drake’s old girlfriend and a donkey named Gertrude. Secrets and stalkers heat up the mix and the town of Rose Arbor brews another tale of romance and suspense.